Sunday, July 27th

Flirting with Forty
Lying to be Perfect
True Blood

Flirting with Forty would have gone really well with a glass of Pathetic, but it was Sunday morning, so I went with a little OJ instead. I can't believe I watched this movie...again. Actually, probably for more than the second time. I always go in thinking, oh, just the first 40 minutes so I see the shirtless guy, and two hours later it's over and I hate myself more than when it started. I have to say, I think my biggest problem with the movie (oh god) is her bitchy friends who obviously care more about what the PTA would say than her overall happiness. And hell, if some guys wants her with her weird face and permanently weighted down by college lips, let him have her. But I mean, taking out the trash in a red bikini and Uggs on New Years? Please, knife me before I watch this again.

Lying to be Perfect, where oh where should I start? I mean, I think it would have gone great with Franzia because I was settling and embarrassed to be seen with it-- and once I started I felt obligated to finish the whole thing. If I'm not mistaken, the main character spent most of her onscreen time in a really unconvincing fat suit. She also spent some time...lying to try to get ahead in her career because her editor wouldn't let her be an advice columnist presumably because she was overweight but wouldn't the picture just be of her face (which is lovely) anyway so what's the big problem other than the need to create a reason for her and two friends to diet together and prove that happiness comes from a smaller jean size and a table by the window? If you thought reading that sentence was tough, you should try watching this movie. Predictable. Not that I always see that as a flaw, and I mean it's on Lifetime, but...ouch. The bright side is after watching Lifetime all day I can feel proud of a few things:
A. I'm not a syphilitic 13-year-old girl with daddy issues.
B. I'm not sleeping with the man that killed my family.
C. I'm not being forced by fake a British accent.
D. I'm not suffering from short-term memory loss and unable to remember my new boyfriend is the man that killed my pregnant identical twin...brother?
Well, maybe the short-term memory loss would be helpful today...

True Blood this week...did not bring Sexy Back, nor would it have paired well with anything. In fact, watching Tara's eyes roll back in her head while her face looks terrified and a very gaunt, British vampire (James Frain aka Forney from Where the Heart Is) does god knows what to her/Bill and Lorena having a very Death Becomes Her moment-- please bring back the Eric dreams. This episode was week filler, the only bright spot of which was the appearance of Alcide, who is far less hairy than you think a were would be. Here's hoping next week is better. Also, reunite Jessica and Hoyt because I'm convinced his good-looking-ness is directly tied to being with Jessica.