Thursday, 7/1

The Closet (La placard)
Armored

The Closet is another beautiful gem that Netflix pushed me towards by reminding me I had only one day to watch it! Thank goodness I made the time for this film. Some of my favored French actors, Daniel Auteuil and of course Gerard Depardieu (isn't his name fun to say?) star in this comedy about an accountant who is a drag. Still in love with his wife who left him two years ago, can't get his son to visit, left out of the company photo, Pignon gets fired from...a condom factory! A mewing kitten and talk of jumping off his balcony lead to a visit with a pushy neighbor with a plan - manipulate images from a gay club to feature Pignon and mail them to the company. The pictures are quickly distributed throughout the company, and Pignon is of course kept on. Now, he is interesting, and due to an appearance on the company float during a pride parade, someone his son wants to see. Meanwhile, Depardieu's Santini gets taught a lesson by co-workers fed up with his machismo who tell him if he isn't nicer to Pignon he'll be fired...enter the most awkward lunch ever and a pink cashmere sweater.
What I love about The Closet is how it handles the idea of perception. Pignon does not arrive at work the next day in assless chaps and eyeliner-- he acts exactly the same, and all that changes is how much people gossip about him. And of course, while the film is mostly light, there are larger issues, such as the neighbor who "was fired for the exact same reason you're not." And, honestly, the kitten in the film is so precious, but I have cats on the brain! Fear not subtitles - j'adore this movie!

I'm blaming Armored's appearance in my mailbox on my deep affection for Columbus Short (yeah, the guy from Stomp the Yard). It's a heist movie, plain and incredibly simple, with what could be an amazing cast - Jean Reno, Laurence Fishborne, Skeet Ulrich and of course Matt Dillon, who I actually don't think is very good, but whatever. They drive armored trucks. With a lot of money. But they all need/want money. I mean, Short's Ty has a kid brother to support because they tragically lost both of their parents, and Matt Dillon is Ty's godfather-- which is really fucked up considering how shit plays out. The movie was predictable, which to me isn't a be all end all dealbreaker. What killed was the stilted, unconvincing dialogue that I could basically predict as it tumbled about of the actors' mouths-- you could almost tell it left bad tastes in their mouths. Only surprise in this one was Milo Ventimiglia as a curious-as-a-cat cop. Skip it.